sorrynotguilty | IC Inbox

[ He settles a little more into that lap with a wiggle, as if making a statement. Try and move him, Megs. ]

I'll wait while you check.

[ All is fair and love and trolling, after all. Besides, there's another statement there. You're worth waiting for, Megs.]

Edited 2017-07-21 04:46 (UTC)

[ yeah, Megatron gets the point. sort of. it's not entirely blatant, but Drift sure does like subtle. the tank can appreciate that. ]

Hmm. It seems as though I am entirely free.

[ almost meaning that, well, he'd drop most things for you even if he were busy. ]

[ Drift knows that his lessons learned are not necessarily the lessons of others, even if the advice is still good and he still gives it anyway. Having spent 90% of his life in a negative space though? Positive is a better thing to strive for. ]

Excellent. [ Drift's turn to be smug. His engine purrs a little. ] Now you're occupied.

But in all seriousness, this is...an unexpected development. It's happened though and makes me ecstatic, but, I don't want to step away from this.

[ He lays a hand on Megatron's chestplate, over where he imagines that spark resides. Subtle indeed. ]

[ well, he would have been occupied either way! but that move isn't subtle, Drift. not at all. neither is the way one of Megatron's hands cover Drift's. ]

I'll admit, I was fully prepared to step to the wayside.

[ because what else could he do? Megatron, of all individuals, isn't about to step in the way of someone and their happiness. not for his own sake. not anymore. ]

However, I wondered if it would come to that at all.

[ mostly because of the way that Rodimus has been talking that night. now, of course, it's because of the way Drift is carrying on right at this second. still, hearing Drift say it cause a bit of tenseness in his shoulders to release. Megatron hadn't even been aware of it. ]

[He delights in Rodimus's bold manner and approach but there's things about Megatron, like these subtle signals, that is very appealing as well.]

I thought that you might. I thought I might not have a say in it either. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about the idea. I... Honestly I thought you might step aside like it was nothing while secretly being upset...

[This is the last thing he wants. He opens his mouth to continue but something entirely different comes out.]

Is it selfish of me to want both?

Again, the thought did occur to me. Largely because I knew that you would think I'd be secretly upset about losing something that had barely begun. [ it's not hard to figure out Drift's mindset on the matter. ] You wouldn't have been entirely wrong to think it either. I know I would have acted like it was nothing.

[ not that he wouldn't have been secretly upset. Megatron would have felt a bit of a loss, then reprimanded himself for it. it isn't for him to impede on someone's happiness. he has no illusions that he deserves it for himself. ]

And quite frankly, Drift, you are the least selfish person I know. At the moment. Who is alive.

[ because in the end, Bee had been quite selfless. but that's not what this is about. Megatron brings Drift's hand to his mouth, an action that he has grown rather accustomed to doing as of late. ]

I can't say that this isn't... Unusual. Yet your other partner seems to be in agreement with you so who am I to judge? Am I not just as selfish for allowing it?

I guess that makes it easy then; we're both on the same page. [A beat.] Except that part about you deserving good things.

[Yeah, Drift can guess your mindset too, Megatron.] I think we've seen what happens to people who have few in the way of good things in their lives. Deserving or not, good things help us be better people.

[Drift often wonders what his early life would have been life if he'd been less destitute. But even with that philosophy is hard to think himself deserving. Small wonder why selfishness comes up. Drift flusters a bit, faceplates gently heating.]

I, er. T-thank you?

[He can't imagine it honestly.]

Does that mean you will? That's what I wanted to ask you today. If you'd be willing to continue and if there were any, I don't, terms to make things work better?

I didn't realize I had said anything of the sort.

[ casually not going to admit that Drift apparently can trace some of his thought processes so easily. transparency... Megatron doesn't know what to do with it.

but there's the real meat of the conversation coming up. Megatron can dance around the other topic a little longer. Drift's flustered face provides him with that slight distraction - not that he believes in any way that it has been forgotten. ]

Terms? Now you make it sound like a binding contract. [ he chuckles, then gives it some serious thought. ] I am not opposed to continuing, Drift. As for how to make things work better, I couldn't say. This... Is not familiar territory. I know not what to expect and what to demand.

You didn't need to. [Drift smiles an understanding smile.] I've been there, remember?

[They share more than a few things in common, it's one of the reasons this is working between them.]

Then give me a better word, poet. [He teases. But really, Drift doesn't know a better word because it's not familiar territory for him either.] Look, I just want to do right by both of you, I'm not sure how any of this works either.

I know. Really, being so transparent puts me ill at ease.

[ it's not about Drift. more like Megatron isn't really sure what to do when people can so easily tell what is on his mind. it's been too long since anyone really has. ]

Which I know you do. I think that we will just have to stumble along, finding where to dig in and where to yield. It isn't going to be particularly easy, but... Well, I suppose you's say "hopefully rewarding."

[ what works for him doesn't necessarily work for Drift and Rodimus. every facet has their own personality and quirks to match. it's finding that balance, where all three mesh well enough together, that is going to take time to nurture. ]

I know I require a bit more patience.

Because it's different from what you're used to or for some other reason?

[Drift chuckles.] It's true. I would say that. And believe it too.

[Then leans a little closer, helm coming to rest on the wide shoulder.]. I love that about you, though. You balance Rodimus so well. I love him dearly and I love what we have together but I could never handle two of him.

Both, truthfully.

[ the other reasons are multitudinous. people could take advantage of him. of those that he knows. his trust could be misplaced. but it is true that the majority of it has to deal with it being so new and different for him. ]

And yes, I know full well that you believe it. It's quite infectious.

[ Megatron freezes for just an instant. does Drift realize the vocabulary he just used? had it been an accident or deliberate? love...

it does much to fluster him for a moment. then he takes to focusing on Drift continues on to say. ]

I'm sure you could, if it came to that. Thankfully, I am blessedly different than he.

It's not such a bad thing though, if you think about it. People starting to understand you, being able to relate you, that's a good thing. They should know you, not your persona.

[It's important, if Megatron wants life to take a new course and leave the old one behind. The ex-warlord might argue that it's temporary as is his remaining lease on life, but Drift wants to have hope the Knights might pardon Megatron and let him continue to make a positive difference in the world.

And no, Drift isn't quite aware of his subconscious word choice, otherwise there'd be two flustered mechs here, not one. He gives Megatron a queer look, wondering if he sensed that momentary flux in Megatron's aura correctly.]

I don't know. I love the adventure sure, and all the cuddling but given his libido? Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining, but I think my hip gimbals would give out if I have to satisfy two like him.

It is terrible. Horrible, even. Why... People being able to understand and relate to me... Someone might make the mistake and think that I am no different than they!

[ it's so full of sarcasm and mock horror. Megatron isn't taking the notion seriously. not many actually DO want to understand him. most would feel horrified by the prospect.

and yes. yes such things are temporary. eventually everyone will just go back to hating him. for good reason. ]

His libido is... Something. [ Megatron's been there. he gets it. ] However now it is I that is wondering how mine will hold out with you two.

It can't be that....

[ Wow wait a second. That has to be sarcasm, but it sounds so alien coming out of Megatron's mouth. Well, on that level anyway. ]

Tch. If you don't take the possibility seriously, neither will anyone else. It starts with you.

[ Huff. ]

But you're a good strategist. I'm sure you'd think of something. Question is, do you care to try~

[ a chuckle. ]

Took you a moment.

[ to understand that his words had been nothing but sarcasm. and Drift usually reads him so well anymore it's nearly terrifying. ]

I am not quite ready for an attempt to appease two at once. There are... Certain things that need established first.

[ like a good basis for Rodimus and himself, to start. ]

But your open to that?

[ Drift turns on Megatron, the question open and honest and maybe a little hopeful. ]

The possibility I mean. Of establishing something?

[ Now he's being serious. ]

[ Drift sounds SO surprised. Megatron's field piques in disbelief. why so shocked? he doesn't get it. ]

Yes. I'm not sure I understand why this is a hard thing to grasp.

...

[ Wow. He's not daft. ]

I simply wasn't aware you'd developed an affection for him.

[ A beat. Then a small smile. ]

Good.

I wasn't either. Until somewhat recently. I never gave it much though because I believed it to be an elaborate rouse.

[ it's small though. just the beginnings of something. ]

That partially drunk conversation of his, the one that happened due to his depression over thoughts of losing you, that loosened his tongue. And perhaps my own.

Ahhh, so that's what it was. I knew about it happening but not that it'd had such results.

[ That's a pleasant realization, except.... ]

Ah. Forgive me if I don't volunteer for additional drama between Rodimus and I just to draw the two of you closer.

I'd rather everything start running smoothly myself. I've never been so involved in relationship drama. Ever.

[ like ever, Drift. he has never really been in a true relationship either so... ]

I'm anticipating the conversation that we're going to have.

How much of life actually runs smoothly though?

[ As much as Drift is an idealist, he still recognizes that it's delusion to think things will reach a settled state constant contentment. Even Crystal City had its issues under all the glamour and glitz.]

Which conversation would that be?

[ sigh ]

Hardly ever...

[ Drift. stop bringing this conversation down. truthfully, it has taken quite a different turn hasn't it? very well. time to get it back on track. Megatron shifts, bumping Drift on his lap closer still. ]

I am not sure. Not entirely. He made me promise to have a talk with him after he patched things up with you. However, since Rodimus made mention of taking about 'us' after confronting you...

[ a small shrug. ]

You tell me what that could mean.

[ Rodimus still seems to want to pursue something with Megatron is what it means. ]

[It's all about expectations. He thought he'd finally be happy when the war was won and he could go home.... Obviously things went entirely differently. He knows it's better to try and be happy in there here and instead of relying on some possibly unattainable point in the future when things 'go smoothly', but Drift is also an idealist and dreaming for a better future is an easy habit to fall into.]

It's just a part of life, there's no reason we can't find great moments even amidst it all. I mean... [He lays a hand meaningfully on Megatron's chestplate.] Isn't this pretty great?

[Drift grins.]

And that's pretty great too. I think he's figuring out what he wants. Or rather, coming to terms with desiring you, and if that desire is something more than physical. Which... [he chuckles.] I kind of knew all along. He's told me himself that he's bad of casual interfacing, that he always grows attached to this partners if they become regular. I think the physical vehicle is how he decides how he feels, if its worth pursuing, and not having access to that vehicle with you has made him flustered and uncertain with how to define the feelings.

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